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How I Found Me

2004, adult college student, backwoods, backwoodsmom, Chemeketa, college, foster, graduation, Linfield, Linfield college, McMinnville, non-traditional student No Responses »

Jul 142011

Share I found my self-worth on a hot May day in 2004 when I crossed the center stage and, holding my head high for perhaps the first time in my thirty-three years, was handed a piece of paper that said I’d finally arrived. And in that half sheet of fancy paper, marked with the seal of educational approval, I found value. I found esteem. I found me. I started college on a whim when I was twenty-nine years old. I’d never really done anything right. I’d certainly never finished anything. And I really didn’t think I’d make it very [READ MORE]

Why My Kids Read

adoption, Alaska, Alaskan, backwoods mom, bedtime rules, foster, read, reading No Responses »

Jul 052011

Share Every kid in my house is a constant reader…though four of them have, or have had at some time, a reading disability. They didn’t start out as readers…and it took some effort…but I did it. And it was strategically planned from my very first child. Bedtime in my house is strictly ritualistic. My kids need structure more than most…it’s simply a fact of their histories. In the school year we begin at eight o’clock and usually…I repeat usually…they are all in the covers within thirty minutes. They take turns in the bathroom (that’s a whole other story), say their [READ MORE]

Shopping For Kids

adoption, Alaska, backwoods, backwoodsmom, foster No Responses »

Jun 202011

Share I’ve done it again…found myself shopping for kids online. I don’t mean buying gifts for my current children; I mean actually shopping for kids. It’s true…I’m an adoption website addict. I’ve tried to stop, really I have. My husband has threatened to put a block on our internet to prevent inappropriate searches that include the word “adoption” to bar any future incidents…but I’ve sworn to stop on my own. I can do it. Really. It’s the late nights alone that get to me. When all the kids are in bed and the house is quiet…so quiet that I forget [READ MORE]

My Overcoming One

adoption, Alaska, Alaskan, backwoods, foster No Responses »

Jun 132011

Share The tiny boy with the bright blue eyes Looked up and said to me Can I live here a long, long time? Three months, if you’d agree. Three months? I said, to the blue eyed boy That isn’t long you see, For an eight year old to have a mom… A dad…a family. He looked out the window at the dog outside, The yard, the tire swing tree, He thought a moment, looked up and said, How bout till I turn thirteen? Such low hopes, I thought, of the blue eyed boy, to want so little from me Just [READ MORE]

Robin Wonders

adoption, Alaska, Alaskan, backwoods, foster No Responses »

Jun 082011

Share I rarely talk with my long term kids about their early childhood in front of the other kids. For some reason I’ve always hesitated…I didn’t really know why. But one day I told the story of when Mya was a toddler and she was afraid of the moon outside her bedroom window. We all had a good laugh…and then, when the car fell silent, Robin quietly said, “I wish I knew if I was afraid of the moon.” “What do you mean?” I asked.“I don’t know anything about me. It would be nice to know things like that…if I was [READ MORE]

This I Believe

adoption, Alaska, Alaskan, backwoods, believe, children, foster, girl talks about adoption No Responses »

Jun 042011

Share My daughter, Robin, came to us when she was six years old. We were her tenth family. This year for a school project she created a piece for a website called, “This I Believe”. This is her story, completely unedited. THIS I BELIEVE By Robin Riley Ninilchik Middle School, 7th grade There are kids in the world that don’t have parents. That don’t have a mother that tucks them in at night and a father who teaches them how to cut their food. I have both of those things now but I didn’t always. I once upon a time [READ MORE]

Keepsakes Or Crap?

adoption, Alaska, backwoods, foster No Responses »

Jun 032011

Share I’ve collected much junk over the years. Some of it worth keeping around, some of it only here because I can’t bring myself to drop it in the trash. Once you’ve carried something around with you for thirty years, moving from house to house, state to state, you wonder what the point would be in getting rid of it now. If it meant enough to me at some point to hang on to, to pack and repack, it deserves my consideration now. I’ve a stack of containers in my closet of just such a collaboration of crap. Stuffed overflowing, [READ MORE]

I Made This For You

adoption, Alaska, Alaskan, backwoods, children, foster No Responses »

May 242011

Share There are few words sweeter to parent’s ears than, “I made this for you!” said through sweet, smiling cheeks. We’ve all gotten them…those precious gifts from our children made with macaroni noodles, paperclips and feathers. Our children’s eyes gleam as they proudly hand us some creation they’ve spent anywhere from six minutes to six hours on their bedroom floor inventing, they’re fingers still coated in glitter, glue seeping from the edges of their masterpiece. Now I’ll admit that over the years I’ve occasionally stashed said gooey mess in a hidden place until their back is turned. I’ve shoved pretty [READ MORE]

A Simple Truth

abuse, adoption, Alaska, Alaskan, backwoods, birth parent, foster No Responses »

May 232011

Share Tomorrow afternoon our son…will become our son. Legally, at least, though he’s been ours for four years. I’m going to share a few words from a pre-adopt interview. Not to impede on his privacy, but because sometimes we forget that a child has a voice…if only we’d listen. When asked about his birth family:“I realize what they had done to me. They hurt me. I have a picture of them in my mind. I don’t want a picture. I have bad memories and I don’t want them. I can’t tell if he loved us at all. He had a [READ MORE]

Adoption Pending

adoption, Alaska, backwoods, foster, foster care No Responses »

Apr 262011

Share He came to us in the summer, four years ago with a chip on his shoulder, a mouth with no filter, and a yearning for something solid. Just six years old, he’d seen things…oh yes, he’d seen some things. The parents’ rights have been terminated. The threat of reunification is long past and his memories are beginning to fade. Visitations stopped long ago, thank God. Oh, the confusion that must cause in the child who so desperately wants the parents in that little room to be just like the ones waiting in the car. We’ll sign the papers, he’ll [READ MORE]

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